you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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