I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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