1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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