so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Help. Why am I so naked?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
