my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
