There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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