Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize