Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There r osticjed everywhere
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I sprained my soul last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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