i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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