hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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