What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
how does that bad decision feel?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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