i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
