its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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