im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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