I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
