her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
