9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
