too bad you live with your parents still
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
