I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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