I'm lost and stupid without you.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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