I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize