You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize