are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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