its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
