he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
