It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
