The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
