I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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