There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The beer is more important than you right now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize
