i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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