I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
