He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
