mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Less talking, more tequila
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
