some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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