Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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