Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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