There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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