is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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