I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
