I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
