Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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