You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how can u be prego again
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
