Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
