i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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