Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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