Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
