he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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