I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
