he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
