Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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