I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
