Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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