i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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