did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize