i just wanna soil my oats bro
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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