You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize