So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
