xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
soo... how was my night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
