She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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