Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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