now i know why i became what i already was.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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