Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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