In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
